The first step is acceptance...
If you've ever had to deal with self-doubt, then you may know what it is like to constantly feel not good enough for good things. Or the constant feeling that you can't hold on to great things or build anything truly amazing. What is odd is that many feel this is the plight of the unaccomplished; once you are rich, wealthy and famous, you become confident, happy, confident and unafraid to take risks - we think.
Well, it's a lie society, Instagram posts and movies tell us.
Someone I deeply respected for his accomplishments took his life. Another accomplished person who decided to open up about her life spoke about how she went into self-destruct/self-sabotage mode any time things were beginning to really look up. I can go on and on, having "scored points" in many areas of life myself or being close to people who have. The reality is that these insecurities and fears plague people from all walks of life, stay hooked onto them like parasitic demons that grow when there is pain and provide some relief to the mind - while destroying the soul.
You see, the brain is wired for survival, or the illusion thereof. So if one has been exposed to pain, that new adventure that may open up the world is seen by your fears as great danger, something you should run away from. Drawing on pains from the past, times you failed, moments when people had said you were not good enough or your parents put you down, your fears tell you not to go ahead. Not to "fail AGAIN".
Stay down.
Stay put.
Stay safe.
Remain stagnant.
Go with the crowd.
Observe the status quo.
Throw away uniqueness.
Limit yourself.
Be "safe".
But therein lies the dilemma; what you were made for and what will give you fulfillment is often just outside of your comfort zone. There is safety in being a larva, but the butterfly that you can be, whose wings are a kaleidoscope of beautiful colours, cries out from within, trying to be free - and this conflict rages on and one. Who you can be fights against the comfort zone of who you currently are.
What's the natural reaction? We try to drown the inner conflicts and pain.
Parties, sex, drugs, booze, games, church, ANYTHING that rocks boat. ANYTHING apart from doing what we must if that transformation must begin from the inside...
Which is, forget everything on the outside.
Finally take time to look inward.
See yourself as you really are and say, "in this specific area of my life, I am well and truly messed up - BUT, I can be better"; there's ALWAYS a better way...
This is where the journey to change and to become all that you can be truly begins...
(Written to the beautiful music of David Rhino titled "Dreams") @DavidRhino